Abstract: This article examines the intergenerational co-parenting experiences of “rural second-generation” urban immigrant families，and the practical process of rebuilding family balance by the second generation in cohabitation and co-parenting setting during the urbanization of rural households. Under the intense pressure of modernization，the middle generation consciously wants to raise their children according to the concepts and skills of cultivating modern individuals，causing a significant break off from the ideas of grandparent generation. At the same time，with the practice of co-living and parenting sharing，the middle generation has implicitly continued traditional notions of parent-child unity(qinzi yiti) to balance family relationships. To various degrees a “cultural consciousness” may have occurred to recognize the dependence of modern childrearing practices on the support of traditional family unity. The intertwining of unity（yiti） and individuality（geti） shapes the emotional world of family members. When the middle generation develops a recognition of “unity” alongside individual reflection on individualism，the apparent differences between tradition and modernization can be bridged，and both individuality and unity can be genuinely implemented. When the middle generation exercises individual space within unity，obvious differences can be rationalized in family life. However，when the middle generation fails to coordinate properly，unity and individuality may fragment into two opposing forces that can tear apart the family. It is noteworthy that conflicts and deep divisions in rural families often happen between grandparents and mothers. This phenomenon may indicate that the intensive modernization and ideological conflicts have likely placed women at the precise intersection of social and familial tensions. The study not only highlights the profound and enduring support of traditional ethics in the Chinese modernization process but also underscores its potential for creative transformation in the present context.

Key words: Chinese modernization, parent-child unity（qinzi yiti）, modern individual, intensive motherhood, cultural consciousness